hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
