dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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