Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
