Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
accomplished twins. life is a go
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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