Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
