Screwed.edu
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
