I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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