no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
