Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
