clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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