i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I showed him my bush... on skype.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
