in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
