How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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