Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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