Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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