Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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