Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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