Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
