If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
