Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Randomize
