that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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