Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
