I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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