its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
