so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
