picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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