If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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