if you like me you must not know who I am
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
