Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
