That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
