You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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