Porn is love you can see.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
