I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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