i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She bit a glass in half.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
