What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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