I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
