I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
