dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
