I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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