from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Randomize
