Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
