Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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