Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
