Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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