I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize
