It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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