Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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