sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
