i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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