I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
