we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
