I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
